Profile.
This guy above jumping like one gay dude is my bottom line for everything in my life, which includes my future and all. Don't really think you wanna toe on it because you might find your feet missing mysteriously after doing so. Well, again, I am one to be messed around with because I am pretty harmless. I am pursuing Mass Communications currently & I don't see why you can't be my friend because I certainly love making friends! :) Told you I'm this harmless friendly ugly blob of fat ^^
TVXQ, Five treasures & Jaypark are absolutely ♥
Yang Yoseob, Kim Heechul, CNBlue Lee Jonghyun, JoonMir, SHINee Kim Jonghyun.
Links.
Facts.
- i am a 80% cassiopeia & a 5% primadonna & 5% BOICE & 5%Petals & 3%B2UTY & 2%Jaywalker
- i am afraid of anything that's inhumanly, esp cockroaches
- i hate white chocolates
- i want to marry xiahkimjunsu
- my moodswings comes and goes
- i love to bitch a lot
- i think dance is cool
- i love guys with a charming smile and nice nose
- i don't like fakers
- i want to travel, a lot.
- i can draw
- i am extremely lazy
- i am very impatient
- i wanna be skinny
- i love my blackberry
to be continued....
Rewind.
Credits.
Declaration.
I don't need anyone to judge me. Be it you being unhappy or disagree with what I write here, you can just chew on your fingers and close the damned windows and start a msn conversation to bitch about me. But let me remind you, those phases? I've been through more than you say "fuck this bitch" and karma goes around, and comes around :)
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Date: Saturday, September 4, 2010 Time: 2:06 AM Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.
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Date: Friday, August 20, 2010 Time: 5:20 AM Is this love?
ok fuck my life i am such a fail. |
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Date: Sunday, August 15, 2010 Time: 6:58 AM Again
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from Hi my best friend, I miss you a lot. Think I write about you a lot because without you, I became a person with no existence. I don't seem to mix well in the world now, I don't know why either. I doubt we will ever talk again, it is a pity, really. We knew each other so well. I had never said as much as "I like you" to you so here you go, what you've always wanted to hear, "I love you" :) Day 15 — The person you miss the most Seriously? I miss my old mum the most. No, my mum still had the same looks, same figure, but her personality changed. Like to a stranger I've never ever met. I want my old mum back, the one I can cuddle in her arms and feel safe, the one I can talk to without snapping. I want to be proud of my mum again, because she is so strong that she motivates me. Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country Hi yanti, cannot believe I am meeting you in Seoul in November, I am really excited for our trip. Too bad we can't eat seafood together. Nor we can fulfill our promises to see dongbang together again because you get to see them in shanghai & i have none :\ i doubt we can be very long-lasting friends because we know of each other's ugly faces too much, but still, i enjoyed your company <3 Day 17 — Someone from your childhood hi pearlyn, the pearlyn I met when I was 7-8, my only one true friend in the class but I pushed her away & she was so upset she requested for a change of school. I still feel guilty towards you. Contact me if you can, just like weeyee. Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be Lee Chaerin aka 2NE1 Leader : CL. We are of the same age but I admire her much really. I think she's cool and unique. She's not gorgeous but she's just....yeah there. |
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Date: Time: 6:51 AM Tired out
It is only the first week and I am dreading everything. My mother told me that this is perfectly normal and I should get used to it. Really? Facing such bullshitty people are normal? God. Anyway this blog has become my usual ranting place which I feel really bad because I am supposed to be more dedicated to my livejournal with my life. But ugh, to know that no one reads this blog makes me feel really happy :) Hopefully mascot side replies and I don't have to do the PC thing :( |
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Date: Saturday, August 14, 2010 Time: 8:53 PM Kimi ga ireba
Does it really matter? I cannot stand my mother at times. She nags, she's selfish/thoughtless. We seem to never be able to hold a conversation more than 10sentences each. I don't know what is wrong. It's not like I REALLY hate her or something, it's just occasional dislike which would happen to any two people on earth who lives together. But ugh, whatever, seriously. Anyway this is another thing I realized. It's like us, like practically a lot of us uses the word "love" so much that it seems to mean nothing at all. I think it still meant a lot to me, when I say "I love you" to someone I really like/close(which applies to family, friends & junsu, maybe? lol), I feel really excited. Heart feels so full as though it is going to burst ANYTIME. I thought that was love? I know we can't define it but stop degrading the meaning of Love. I especially can't stand those who goes "i love him/her sfm!!!!" Like um seriously? Quit running after the trend and proclaiming your love for him/her. Why ridicule yourself. It makes you look stupid and your love seems so cheap already. We can't exactly love idols anyway, in a sense, we can't love so many people, you get what I mean? I admit I have a lot of eyecandies like, seriously much. I like them, just a feeling of being really delighted when I see their faces/actions, but I don't love them. I cannot imagine myself doing stupid things for them like dying/sacrificing my future or anything else. I have my top biases like top 5 or something. But I don't love ALL of them, really. The only person whom I would say "saranghaeyo" would be XIAH Junsu, the only idol I would really say. I do really care about him, in a sense, in a fan & idol way. I had never said as much as "I like you" to an idol, never in the letters I wrote to Seunghyun did I write more than "I like you" as well. I did joke around saying that "woi you my boyfriend, quit flirting" but he knows it's a joke anyway, so does it matter? Ugh. I feel nauseous whenever I see retards writing "I LOVE ____ SO FUCKING MUCH" Right, downgrade your love and ridicule yourself. What a joke. |
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Date: Monday, August 9, 2010 Time: 8:08 AM
Coward much. & when I do, I break down like this. Like something that will disappear into thin air if I don't thread on the line properly. I want to stop being butthurt about things people say about me, thinks about me. I am done living the life that others wants me to. I can't seem to see the self in me anymore. Or rather, in a mroe dramatic way, the soul in my body. This feels just like an empty shell. Here am I, finding the perfect path to reach one of my short-term goal before moving on in life. I wonder, is that really good for me? I worry, a lot. I can't help but worry. Because in life, nothing is confirmed, nothing is call a deal is a deal. Things crops up, hit an obstacle. People says we fall and we climb again. But when we fall too deep, what will happen? Die. |
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Date: Time: 8:00 AM letters owed
You were the first person I hated in life. I hate to admit your existence or any resemblance we had. Filthy blood, it is. Your irresponsibility irks me. I knew you were upset over my existence, I'm betting my life on this. You know, you were the person I could throw to the back of my mind and not remember till someone asked about you. Yes, your existence to me is this negligible. I had never craved for you, because you were such an asshole to begin with. I had only wanted your money. You had nothing but money. Because of you, I am what I am now. Money grubber like, because I don't want to be you. You disgust me much. Don't come begging and grovelling for money. Look at what you've done 11 years ago to me, I'll give it back twice. For the hurt you've caused the closest person to me, I'll make sure you'll never live. Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you I know I often complains about you. Like really often because we can't get along anymore. You couldn't understand me and vice versa. We don't even bother anymore. But trust me, I do love you, still love you as much as before. I promise a good life ahead once my studies ends. You're someone I would never want to lose in my life, despite everything. Because I am thankful for your hard work. I just hope you won't give up so easily. The person I knew, was the strongest woman I've ever met in my life and respected. Forgive me for my attitude, for my immature thinkings and useless self. I'll do better in the future. |